"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
