if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
