what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
