apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize