I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
