There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
