The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
