Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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