Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
