Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
my liver is dry heaving
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
