You were right. It hurts to walk today.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
