dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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