she smelled like a LAN party
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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