How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
