I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
