He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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