Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
