Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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