fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
