It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
