I'm gonna have a badass scar
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
