my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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