Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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