Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
