you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
