She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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