"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
