id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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