I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
