i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
