where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
where does the pee come out of this thing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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