Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
