The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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