Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize