I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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