I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
