they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
