i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize