you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize