I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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