is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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