me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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