frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize