Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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