We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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