I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
