how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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