Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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