You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Acid is not a monday night drug
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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