Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
