I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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