You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
