Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
