Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
