Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
