Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
