Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
