Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize