I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
