youre lurking in front of me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
