she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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