I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
