I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
