Who did Billy Mays play for?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
