Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
