We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and she was petting her beer can
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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