AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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