Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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