Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
