he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
