return my video game
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
