i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
