i think my tv is drunk
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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