he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
